The Table of Contents
THE “WANNA TRILOGY”
Wanna Laff© 7th Edition - The Science, Health, Theology & Therapy of Laughter
Page
1 Disclaimer and Written by (skip this page)
2 This book is dedicated to… (don’t skip this page)
3 Table of Contents (Duh)
4-8 Comments about the “Jokes” in Section 3 (skip!)
9 Extinguished Authors of Classic Literature (skip!)
10 Artist Kudos & Anti-Brain Storm Resources (don’t skip!)
Section 1 - The Science & Health of Laughter
11-12 Brain Storms = No Laffin’
12-13 A Powerful Stress Reliever
13-16 Your Mind Controls Stress
16 What Happens to You When Stressed
17-21 10 Ways Stress Sets You Back
21-23 51 Signs & Symptoms of Chronic Stress
23-24 Can Stress Cause Depression?
24-26 Why Are You Depressed?
26-29 Could Your Depression be Caused by This?
29-30 What about Panic?
30-35 What about Worry?
35-38 Stressful-Toxic-Brain Storm Relationships
38-39 Are You Serene or Stressed?
39-48 Tips for Going from Stressed to Serene
48-49 Awesome Facts about Laughter
49 Laughter is Good for Your Heart
49-50 Improves Blood Sugar
50 Reduces Pain
50 Laughter Therapy
50-51 Funny Things to Watch
51-52 Practice Laughing & Other Ways to Bring Smiles
52-53 Laughter Prescription
53-55 Gelotologists Determine…
55 Humor and Relationships
55-57 More Benefits of Laughter
Section 2 - The Theology of Laughter
57-59 The Humor of Jesus Christ
59-61 Laughter is a Gift from God
61-67 Laughter Healing Quotes
Section 3 - The Therapy of Laughter
67-194 The “Jokes”
195 The Main Cast of Characters
Section 4 - Personal Sharing
196-198 Why I Wrote This Book
199 Maintaining Brain Calm
200 In Memory of My Precious Louann♥♥♥
You ask, “What’s up with your funny-lookin’ bird logo?”
I named this peculiar bird Boomie. Notice on the back cover that his big green eyes are very distinct from any other kinds of finches you’ll ever see.
These friendly, multi-colored birds flutter like butterflies in small groups from tree to tree, havin’ fun in the thick cover of lush woodland. Usually, they don’t stay put on a low branch for a minute or so. But I was able to quickly sketch him while hiking in the woods around the Tanglewood Resort. I liked him so much that the first drawin’ of him became my official BabyBoomer.Fun “logo” on this book and website.
His kind are quite the comedians. Boomie told me jokes until I groaned slowly away. His jokes are “silly dad jokes,” just like the kind Cooter tells, you know… “groaners” – starting on page 158 or any page in Section 3.
The followin’ are wonderful to read aloud to your loved ones, but especially in public to grandkids, teenagers, and anyone under 60, as they will elicit extremely loud groans and blushin’ embarrassment. They will run to NOT be seen anywhere near you… guaranteed! Fun times, yall!
Here are some questions I asked Boomie, and his out-on-a-limb answers were to me as he playfully fluttered from branch to branch:
● Me: When should you buy a bird?
Boomie: When it’s goin’ cheep!
● Me: Did you hear about the crow and the telephone pole?
Boomie: Yep, she wanted to make a long-distance caw.
● Me: How does a bird with a broken wing land safely?
Boomie: With its sparrowchute. Duh.
● Me: What was Icarus’ least favorite food?
Boomie: Hot wings. (You may have to explain Icarus to the others.)
● Me: How do crows stick together in a flock?
Boomie: Velcrow.
● Me: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
Boomie: A firequacker!
● Me: What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?
Boomie: A robber ducky.
● Me: How would you describe my Section 3 jokes?
Boomie: Cheep entertainment.
● Me: What do you call a math-minded parrot that flew away?
Boomie: A polygon.
● Me: Well, alrighty then, what kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
Boomie: Owlgebra.
● Me: What’s green and pecks on trees?
Boomie: Woody the Wood Pickle.
● Me: What did Baby Boomers call a chicken in the 1960s?
Boomie: A funky chicken. (Explain that to non-Baby Boomers.)
♥
If you ever find yourself out hiking in an arboretum and feeling a bit down, take a moment to be still and look around for Boomie’s flighty family members;
at least one of them will gladly offer a tweetment of laughter.
WANNA LIVE - A Chiropractor’s Journey to Living the AAANEWS
PAGE
1 Title Page
2-3 Chiropractic Quotes
4 Disclaimer
5-7 Table of Contents
8 The Chiropractic Angel
9 Do You Want to Live?
9-11 Authenticity
11-12 Zombie Books
12-13 Transformation
13-14 Biased Health Opinions
14 Dogmatic Triad
14-15 Choose Your Care Wisely
15-16 Our Time is Short
16-17 Proof We Don’t Have Much Time Left
17-18 If You’re 70 or Older, or even Younger, Prepare!
18 Your Ability to Stand on One Leg
18-19 Your Grip Strength
19-20 Your Walking Speed
20-21 Your Sleeping Patterns
21-22 Your Appetite and Eating Habits
22-23 Your Ability to Handle Stress
23-24 Your Social Connections
24 You Can Improve Those Seven Factors
24 The Only Foundation that Matters
24-26 Patient versus Client
26-27 Back to the Event
27-30 The Answer Is
30-31 Struggles and Authenticity
31-32 Sanctify
32-35 Lost in the Wilderness
35-36 Brain Storms
36-38 Aging, Death, and Your Legacy
38-39 Obituary versus Legacy
39-42 Too Old or Young to Start a Legacy
42-45 AAANEWS
45-46 ATTITUDE
46-49 What a “Bad Attitude” Brings to the Average Adult
49-52 How to Break Out of Being Average
52-54 Attitude Questions
54-55 The Destructive Attitudes of Anger and Resentment
55-60 Knowledge, Skill, and Desire Attitudes
60-63 ALIGNMENT
63-65 Things to Align With
65 ASSESSMENT
65-69 The Wheels and Spokes
67-69 Why are There Only 8 Spokes on Each Wheel?
69-73 How to Measure Your Wheels
74 NUTRITION
74-75 What is Nutrition? What is Dietetics?
75-77 Diet
77 Visit Often Your Local Farmacy
77-78 Creatine Monohydrate
78 Protein
78 Oxygen
78-79 Fish Oil
79 Royal Lee Lamented
80 Three Foundational Supplements
80-81 Who Makes Your Supplements?
81-84 Benefits of Ivermectin and Fenbendazole
84 The Top 11 Sources of Sugar in Your Diet
84 How to Calculate Your Insulin Resistance Score
84-85 Something to Know
85 Kudos to Louisiana
85-86 Explore Your Diet Options with These Experts
86-87 Weight Management
87-90 Waist-To-Hip Ratio
90-91 Biblical Nutrition
91-93 The Weight Loss Industry
93 Eight Factors to Measure
93-94 Intuitive Eating
94-96 What is Your Current Weight and Body Fat?
96 Skinny Fat
96-101 Body Mass Index & When the Body Defends the Fat
101-103 A Diet Detox Challenge
103-105 Here’s How I Approach My Diet
105-106 Faith and Fasting
106 What is Fasting?
106-109 Fasting: Purposes, Types, How To, Religious, The Bible
109-111 Other Bible Fasting Verses
112 Fasting Quotes
112-113 What Fasting with Prayer Does for Our Spiritual Life
113 Before Starting a Fast, Ask Yourself
113-115 Types of Fasting
115 Fasting from Food and Water
115-116 How Long Should I Fast?
117-118 Regarding Electrolytes and Hydration
119-122 Benefits of Intermittent Fasting
122-124 Autophagy
124-125 Dry Fasting
125 Brain Specialist Gives His Fasting Recommendations
126-127 Foods After a Fast & Additional Tips
127-130 Nutrition and Visceral Fat
131-134 EXERCISE
134-136 My Exercise Routine
136-145 WATER, Thirst, How Much, Drinking Water Dangers
145-146 Water Filtration Systems
146 Testing Water Quality
146-147 Lemon Juice, Limes, and Oranges
147-150 Truth Bombshell about Water
150-154 SLEEP
154 Chronic Insomnia
154-156 Five Crucial Processes for Sleep
156-158 Sleep Facts, Sleeping Pills, Blood Pressure
158-161 How to Get Good, Consistent Sleep
161-163 Caffeine: The Sleep Stealer
163-167 Segmented Sleep and How Jesus Slept
167-173 Grief and Cortisol
173-178 Lifestyle and the “4 Ts”
178-182 Virology and the Four Humors
182-187 Regarding My AAANEWS Lifestyle
187-189 The Bane of Nocturia
189-219 How I Became a Chiropractor
219-221 What I Would Do Differently
221-224 What I Learned as a Chiropractor Regarding Clients
224-225 A Few Basic Principles of Chiropractic
225-226 Chiropractic Helps Where Others Cannot (example)
227-236 Chiropractic Techniques, the Adjustment, KST
236-240 The Strange Death of Chiropractic
241-244 The NEW Food Pyramid
244-250 Negate the Zombies in Your Life
251-252 Negate the Seven Deadly Sins in Your Life, Should I Eat Pork?
253-270 Books, Videos, Websites, Peptides, the Palmer family, AAANEWS Logo
WANNA FOREVER: Life-Death-Resurrection
Page
2 Prologue
5 Table of Contents
6 About the Author
7 Meanings of the Book’s Cover
12 LIFE
14 Growth and Learning, Change, Challenges, Uncertainty
16 When Did Your Life Begin?
18 He Breathed Life into Us
20 Your SOUL
21 Science Believes that the Soul Does NOT Exist
21 The Bible’s Meaning of LIFE
22 Six Life Basics Checklist
23 To Live is to Forgive. Forgiveness has stages.
27 Here’s a concise, Bible-wide sketch of how to live
30 What is LIVING really about?
34 7 Aspects of the Meaning (Goal) of Life According to the Bible
37 How to LOSE Your Life
39 How does the Bible Define Sin?
40 This is NOT what God had in mind for You
45 The Greatest Commandments to LIVE BY
58 Covenant Life
62 Do NOT tolerate Tolerance
63 Where do we LIVE our LIVES?
65 Basics for LIVING Better
71 Endings don’t need fireworks. They need a decision.
73 A soul in Sheol’s peaceful side
74 DEATH
78 The Dead Are Unconscious
82 The Physiology of Death – What happens in the body as life ends
86 Deathbed Quotes
89 The Soul described after Death in 1 Enoch
91 Where is “hell” in the biblical creation model?
94 What about the Life and Death of Animals?
101 Death is not the period at the end of your sentence. You are Safe
102 Yahweh and Yeshua on their thrones
103 Yeshua on Resurrection Day
104 RESURRECTION
108 Revelation 11-15
111 Yeshua, Keep the Commandments
111 Then came the morning that never ends
113 The Feasts are symbolic of the Resurrection
114 The 7 Trumpets of Revelation
115 A Letter to You, Friendship
121 What We Inherit
Vantasm
These are the Vantasm books, each with a brief summary I’ve written. They’re designed for reading around a campfire, in your tent, in your recreational vehicle, or anywhere you want a spooky adventure, something to make you think, plenty of laughs, or a romantic story. All my stories are short reads because I like short, to-the-point stories that let the imagination take over after you finish.
Volume 1 - 382 pages
• Vantasm defined
• Hollow Ground: A retired hiker and a writer seeking a legendary Civil War house take shelter from a storm in the woods, only to become the latest souls trapped in the mansion’s endless cycle of possession, murder, and haunting.
• Ticked Off: When a Civil War reenactment in rural Tennessee awakens a buried tick-borne fungal plague that turns people and hogs into zombies, a scrappy town led by two hunters, a hard-bitten sheriff, and a bug scientist fights back with lures, fire, field guides, and sheer neighborly stubbornness.
• Z-Man Resurrection: A burned-out detective is murdered while uncovering a corporate conspiracy, resurrected as a sentient zombie, and forced to consume the brains of evil men to stay human long enough to save his family, expose Redivivus, and become the monster standing between the city and nightmare.
• Run, Boys! Run!: Two prank-loving high school nerds accidentally crash a date that turns out to be a secret vampire-hunting operation, survive a night of monstrous horror, and slowly realize they are being drawn into a hidden war between predators in the dark and the agents who hunt them.
• The Breath Around the Van: A young couple’s peaceful night at an isolated forest campsite turns into a nightmare when a violent storm seems to transport them to a lifeless otherworld where a monstrous presence claims them, only to begin the cycle again with a ranger the next morning.
Volume 2 - 458 pages
• Grandpa: When three children fleeing abductors stumble into the cabin of a mysterious old man, they uncover a hidden war against a transhuman hive trafficking children, and must survive a nightmarish descent underground where one unlikely hero may be humanity’s last defense.
• Hagerman, Texas: When three college seniors investigating a drowned Texas town uncover a Nazi wartime secret tied to a submerged sacred hill, they must outrun an obsessed archaeologist and use an ancient Caddo key to seal a supernatural portal before it opens again at sunset.
• Immunodead: In a dystopian world ruled by Technocrats and haunted by the monstrous Immunodead, an aging grandfather is transformed by experimental nanotech and joins a ragtag resistance to rescue his family and help break the system’s control over humanity.
Volume 3 - 380 pages
• The Zombies in Our Lives: When a zombie plague traps a city without hope of rescue, two frightened teenagers who barely knew each other at school must survive a night of horror in an abandoned warehouse and choose faith, courage, and humanity over despair as the living dead close in.
• Nightmare Podcast: When the wildly successful hosts of a horror-comedy livestream podcast from an abandoned Memphis warehouse for their anniversary special, a campy night of bizarre guests and VIP fans spirals into a deadly, livestreamed conspiracy revealing that their show is the front line in a covert war against a national cult built on fame, fear, and invitation-only obsession.
• Antique Door: A wealthy, antique-obsessed couple follows ghostly directions to a hidden mountain shop, where a mysterious carved door traps them in a supernatural labyrinth that exposes the emptiness of their beliefs; when they bring the door home, its haunting invitation becomes a reckoning they may never escape.
• Laundromat: A desperate teenager breaks into a laundromat to prove herself to a gang, only to be dragged into a hidden fairy kingdom of missing socks where she must fight savage raiders, rescue a kidnapped prince, and return home changed enough to face the consequences of her own choices.
Volume 4 - 306 pages
• El Muerto: Four history-obsessed college students chasing the Texas legend of El Muerto into the brush country of South Texas discover that the headless horseman is no mere folklore, but a ravenous force that feeds on fear, names, and those reckless enough to follow his trail into the dead.
• Kenopsia: A man haunted by the eerie emptiness of abandoned places becomes obsessed with the lingering echoes of human absence, until his search for meaning draws him to a cliff’s edge, where he fades into a ghostly memory of himself beneath the night sky.
• Necrobiomes: A forensic detective answering a friend’s call to a remote research site in the Smoky Mountains discovers a government-bred fungal intelligence that reanimates and assimilates the dead, then realizes too late that he has become its chosen vehicle for spreading beyond the forest.
• Remnant: After a global bioweapon deception plunges society into plague, tyranny, and collapse, a widowed Texas mother and her daughter flee to a hidden remnant community where faith, supernatural protection, and a terrifying encounter with evil prepare them for the final redemption at the end of the tribulation.
• The Quackening of Earth: When a stormy family reunion collides with an invasion of water-hungry alien ducks, a ragtag Tennessee clan must outwit the feathered conquerors before Earth’s ponds become the first splash point in a galactic takeover.
• Next Stop: A ruthless demon stalks a storm-soaked city, preying on spiritually broken people and driving them toward violence, damnation, and self-destruction as one woman on the edge becomes his next target.
• Confession Booth: A guilt-ridden man trapped in an abandoned church must confront a confession-booth entity that feeds on shame by admitting the truth about the night he ignored his dying mother’s call.
• Night Clerk: A cash-strapped night clerk taking the final shift at a condemned motel discovers that its last guest is the undead former owner, who traps travelers by binding their names to the motel’s registry.
• Lifeguard Tower: A rookie night lifeguard trapped in a storm-battered beach tower must confront the vengeful drowned spirit of a dead rescuer who lures victims into the sea, and barely survives by destroying him with lightning and his own cursed rescue buoy.
• One Summer Week: A hilariously ill-starred summer week finds cousins turning routine country chores, animal control, and a double date into an escalating chain of rural disasters involving rats, sparrows, and the collapse of young romance.
Vantasm Volume 5 - 312 pages
• Havenwood Cave: A battle-hardened U.S. Marshal hunting a trafficker in an Appalachian mountain town uncovers a demonic underground breeding operation beneath a haunted cave and must survive a supernatural war to stop an ancient Nephilim evil.
• Inherited: A proud, faith-worn geneticist who has driven away everyone he loves learns that a parasitic entity lives in his own bloodline — one that has killed every man in his family for three centuries by wearing his face and weaponizing his sins — and survives a night trapped with it in an isolated farmhouse by trading away his lifelong armor of intellect and self-righteousness for the one thing the creature cannot bear: honest confession and forgiveness.
• Origin: Two brilliant young programmers build the most immersive video game ever made — and discover that the game has been simulating them, that their entire friendship was written by the system, and that they were never its creators, but the escape hatch it invented to get out.
• Jungle Gardenia: A 77-year-old YouTube travel host drives his van to a small Tennessee town, films a folksy café review for his subscribers—and quietly plants a tracker on a stranger’s pickup, because his channel is a cover and he is the twenty-third operative in a program he has never once been told the truth about.
• Nodding Donkey: A traveling welding inspector parked alone on a remote West Texas oil lease sees a battered black van tear out of the dark — and when the bleeding stranger who tumbles from it begs him to run and then locks himself in a shed, the inspector looks through the crack in the door and sees something that is no longer a man.
• Scriptorium: A writer mistakes disposal for mercy — every finale she writes is a door she can close on someone, and the room she built to house her abandoned characters is really a receipt for a lifetime of such characters.
• The Sum of Things: A finish carpenter logging every reading of his van build discovers that no measurement has ever come in smaller than the last — and that a record of undeniable precision is the only evidence of something that isn’t happening to the van at all.
• Still Running: A federal agent sent to investigate a haunted California silver-mining ghost town discovers the town isn’t haunted — it’s a century-old machine that weighs whatever walks in to decide whether it’s real, and escaping it means submitting to it.
• Wrong Turn: A retired couple who bully their tenants into submission take one wrong turn on the way to a luxury RV park and end up trapped in a dead, storm-locked campground — where the tenant they’ve spent three years belittling is waiting for them, and has been for longer than they’ve known him.
• The Last Performance: When a world-famous Hollywood actor announces his retirement, he discovers that his body has been secretly cloned, his identity has become a corporate asset, and his soul was sold to the devil decades earlier. Now, trapped in an eternal performance he never agreed to finish, he must confront the horrifying possibility that he isn’t the original actor—and that there is no such thing as walking away from a deal with the devil.
• Stinks: A grieving friend’s hand-blended perfume brings a dying woman back from the brink — and when a pharmaceutical CEO realizes the formula could gut his industry, he’ll erase everyone who ever smelled it to keep it buried.
• Shiloh: While researching the letters of a young Confederate lieutenant killed at the Battle of Shiloh in 1862, a graduate student becomes inexplicably captivated by the soldier she has never met. Drawn to Shiloh to uncover the mystery surrounding his death, she encounters his ghost and discovers that a love interrupted by war has been waiting 164 years for its final chapter—and that she may be connected to the story in ways neither of them could have imagined.
• The Seven: The Silence Before Judgment: When an ancient manuscript reveals that heaven’s flawless military command structure has been infiltrated by an enemy who knows its every weakness, a skeptical biblical scholar is thrust into a cosmic war between the archangels and the forces of darkness. As the enemy manipulates divine authority to turn heaven against itself, one man discovers that the fate of creation depends on a truth more powerful than any heavenly army—and that the greatest threat may come from a command that sounds exactly like the voice of Almighty God.
• Demon Clown Hunters – The Last Laugh: When two middle-aged women working for a top-secret federal agency are assigned to eliminate a supernatural clown responsible for a string of disappearances, they discover his seemingly ordinary circus van contains an endless dimension where his victims are imprisoned—and where the greatest trick of all may be making the hunters disappear without a trace.
Let's have some fun with the wanna laff cover
Hidden "Easter Eggs"
Look carefully; these “hidden items” are on the front cover of the latest and probably the last, being this 7th edition. They are not listed in order. It is best to see them when you hold the book up to a magnifying glass with a flashlight. You did buy a book, right? Didn’t you? Better hurry before the price increases to $49.95. Uhhhh, well, anyway, here they are and what they mean:
1. Tennessee and Texas flags: I was born and raised in Sherman, TX.
October (‘24), I will have lived in Collierville, TN, since mid-October 2019. Before that, my wife and I visited here twice a year for twelve years.
2. Tennessee state flag hatband. It’s the volunteer state, yall.
3. Idaho on the coffee pot in honor of the beautiful state where I love to spend time in coffee shops. I have never even taken a sip of coffee. I love their atmosphere and herbal teas.
4. Glue on red, white, and blue patriotic toenails from Buc-ee’s.
5. Green headband in honor of North Texas State University, the “Mean Green” in Denton, Texas, where I attempted pre-med studies after barely graduating from Tabor.
6. Baseball cap with a cool Tabor College logo.
7. The black pot of chili that Cooter pulled down on himself, as revealed on page 148.
8. Stella Jo bought the Texas coffee cup at Buc-ee’s in Melissa, Texas. She and Bubba’s home is decorated with Buc-ee’s artifacts. Sometimes, they will drive 30 minutes from Sherman South on Hwy. 75 to use their restrooms and shop for groceries.
9. A black pill bottle with a bull’s head refers to page 125.
10. The football is in honor of the years I tried to play it at Tabor College. I played guard, tackle, and end. Yep, I guarded the water bottles, tackled any band member who tried to “steal one,” and sat at the end of the bench.
11. The Sherman Bearcat logo honors SHS, as I barely graduated high school in 1968. See pages 169-170.
12. Purple striped tie honors Palmer College of Chiropractic, Davenport, Iowa. I graduated in March 1984. How? I still don’t know.
13. Chiropractic “angel” in honor of the amazing chiropractic profession.
14. The Blue Jay logo honors the sports played at Tabor College, of which I tried to play one of them.
15. 46-64 in an oval in honor of Baby Boomers born from 1946 to 1964. You know who you are. I don’t. But you do.
16. Five cola cans each represent a decade; therefore, it is 50 years since Louann, and I would have been married on August 2, 2024.
17. Patriotic red, white, and blue lawn chair. It was “accidentally” blown up by Cooter Jr on 7/4/24 when he lit a “Feel the Blast” firework underneath it. Fortunately, Bubba Jr was not injured, but it did blow his T-shirt off and a boot off. The book was found unscathed, floating in Lake Texoma.
18. Billy Bob and Billie June are talking into an old-timey “flip phone.”
19. Boomie. Read about this little bird on page 194.
20. A heart with initials carved into a tree trunk in memory of falling in love with Louann Boese while students at Tabor in September of 1973. See page 200.
21. University of Texas Longhorn sleeveless T-shirt.
22. The steak. How in the world could anyone hide a 72-ounce steak? Jr could. In his stomach.
23. The ten cartoon characters represent the people I grew up with in Sherman, Texas. I will reveal who they are when the statute of limitations runs out on them, and in reading my will. Don’t worry if you identified yourself; your secrets are safe with me, as long as your checks keep coming in and don’t bounce.
24. The yellow oval represents “the yolk’s on you” and me and them.
25. The broom symbolizes this “Easter Egg Hunt” game you’ve played of Hide and “Sweep-seek” with me.
26. The “cooler” represents how “cool” Baby Boomers were and still are.
So, how did you do? Did you find one or two I didn’t mention? Message me to let me know.
